Losing someone is not the best feeling to have. Friends, relationships, family or pets.. Heartbreaks can be crappy.They can suck out a lot of mental energy from your body and make you feel like you’re constantly exhausted. There are more articles on the internet on how to cope up with a heartbreak than hair strands on my head- some of which, of course, are brilliantly written and make a lot of sense.
Not to generalise, but most of the articles I came across had a peculiar similarity- MOVE OUT in order to MOVE ON.
I am not exactly against the idea of changing yourself, your job and your city completely to get on with life and forget about your lifestyle. I am sure most of us will find this easier than staying right there. I haven’t really had the chance to do that as of now,(though i’d love to) but I had the chance of experiencing something strangely beautiful while I was in the process.
I reached a point where I was contacting people in other countries and getting heads up about moving out. New place, new people, new job. Who other than an army kid would understand the pros and cons of this lifestyle. The term “moving out” to a new place wasn’t alien to me. I was accustomed to cherish the change, to move ahead, to move away, to start new things, to write new stories.
My point shouldn’t be confused with the fact that you should be sitting right there.. all your life, without a change. Change is inevitable. Change is a necessary evil. Change is that monster you need to pat on the head and kiss goodnight. You can’t do without it, you shouldn’t do without it. It is important to move about to different directions for your own growth as an individual. It is important to find yourself.
My point is that when things are not so pleasant and you decide to pack up bags and leave. I don’t think that’s moving on or moving away..I think that’s escapism and let me tell you, you don’t really escape being an escapist. That feeling you are running from eventually comes back to you. No matter where you are, no matter what you do.
So what did I do? I Stayed.
I decided to fight it out. I espoused that feeling. That pain. I felt it until it stopped hitting me. I decided to nip it down strong till it was gone. And…. It worked.
The same road, the same trips, the same fragrance, same car, same coffee shop, same likings, same dislikings, same friends, same music, same jokes, same weaknesses, Same strengths. Same philosophies about life. You need to travel through every emotion attached to everything that was once perfect. You need to take out the anger and your tears. You need to stand right there and fight it out. Finally, you need to get that out of your system once and for all. Release it right there and then. Don’t run away.
Once you’re done with this commotion of emotion, allow yourself for new beginnings with new people and new things. With refreshing laughter and better bonds. With happiness and strength. Gear yourself to make fresh memories. Feel it. Feel it rushing through your blood. Accept and move on, right here. Don’t run away. Once you heal yourself- then change! Get on with life and plan new things. Don’t keep running from point to another without a set direction in your head. Move when you can see your destination clearly.
And of course,in the end,there is always pizza and good lingerie.
Until next time.
You can catch up with me on Instagram. ( Gurbani_johnbuttar), share your story, have a soul talk with me. Il be right here 🙂